Ode To My Beard

March 29, 2010 at 5:27 pm (St. Jason) (, , , , , , )

The Horn is real and grew because of the beard

Gone Too Soon

(best if read to Dead and Gone by T.I. Featuring Justin Timberlake)

It has been a good sweet ride beard but our time has to end due to refinery safety regulations involving facial hair and wearing a breathing mask. We both know that the real safety risk that you caused was being just a little too awesome. You came during No Shave November and hung around through Furry February and Manly March. You were even planning to go the distance and make it through Ape Like April. But alas like Michael Jackson and Crystal Pepsi you are gone too soon. Sure you’ll be back in roughly two weeks when I am done working in Beaumont but until then you will just have to remain in our hearts. We pour one out to you beard and remember the bearded men like Aberham Lincoln, Mr. T, and Gandolf who made having a beard a sign of strength and intelligence. In the immortal words of Plato “I beard, therefore I am”

The Hulk Hogan, Brother

The Hulk Hogan

As normally when I shave my facial hair I do a couple of impressions before I take it all off. This time I began with the Hulk Hogan, brother. Because while his hair may fade and stomach may protrude Hulk Hogan’s Mustache remains the same.

The "Charlie Chaplin"

The “Charlie Chaplin”

I don’t even control making this one anymore it seems like every time I shave my beard I automatically seem to leave out a small patch.


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